2004 News:

December 25, 2004
Whoa!! Holidays!!! Merry Christmas (and Happy Lesser-Holidays) from all of us at Urizen Online!! We hope you all have a good day of celebration, and that you don't get too bored since everything in the world is closed on Christmas... sigh. But worry not, my dutiful yule logs, because you can spend your day gazing upon these live pictures from the December 9th show at Dreamworld. It was tough to play after hearing about Dimebag, but we appropriately dedicated "barren winds" to him, because, as Tommy put it, "this is the heaviest thing we can possibly offer him." That was for you, Dime. So enjoy those bad boys, as a gift from us to you. Now for some business... I've posted some new shows on the Live page since last time. We've got a show at the Ridglea coming up next Thursday, December 30th for a big "New Year's Eve-Eve" bash with Neveruin and Skard Soul, so come check that one out. Then, we have another show at Dreamworld on Saturday, January 8th with a bunch of great bands, so you'll definately want to see that one. I also added a show that will be going down at Division One in Arlington on February 26th, so mark them calenders. Also, Urizen will be taking part in Spring Break Melt Down 3 in Irving sometime in March, and that is going to be absolutly insane, lots of great bands. So that's it, kiddies. We'll see you next week at the Ridglea, where Julio will be personally distributing very expensive gifts to everyone in the audience. He's just that kind of guy!

-Daniel: Saw Tommy Kissing Santa Claus

December 16, 2004
I know that this is coming long after it should have, but I can't leave this alone anymore. I personally, as well as everyone here in Urizen, everyone throughout the D/FW scene, and the metal community worldwide, am devastated by the tragic and horrible murder of "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott. From the moment I heard the news, my heart grew heavy with grief, and I feel I will continue to mourn for years to come. Thomas, Julio and I attended Dime's memorial on Tuesday, and it truly was a celebration of the life of a great, talented, kind and giving person. But there are no words to describe the sorrow I felt seeing Vinnie mourn for his brother. He was visibly destroyed, completely destroyed, and when he cried, I, along with the thousands in attendance, cried with him. And although those were the first tears I shed for Dime, they were not the last. Darrell's death is tragic on so many levels. and right now there is no way for any of us to truly cope with the grief. The world was changed that night, and the utterly senseless violence displayed by the murderer, whose name does not deserve to be remembered, was not only inexcusable, but completely unforgivable. So for those of us who still have time on this earth, let us remember Darrell Abbott, as a gifted musician, but mostly as wonderful human being. Let us learn from the mistakes of Phil Anselmo and never hold a grudge against someone you love, because there is never a guarantee that they will be around to patch things up in the future. But most of all, let us be kind, warm and friendly to one another, the way Darrell treated every person he came across, and let him live on after death. As a musician, Darrell Abbott was a hero and an inspiration. As a man, Darrell Abbot was a legend whose spirit will never die. "The brightest star in Texas is shining tonight. That's my brother Dimebag." -Vinnie Paul Abbott

-Daniel

"Dimebag" Darrell Lance Abbott August 20, 1966 - December 8, 2004 Rest In Peace

December 7, 2004
New audio clip December already, eh? The years just fly by when you get to be my age... nineteen. But this December is different, my faithful UriSoldiers, because Christmas is coming early! That's right, our present to you is this hot-off-the-press clip of "behind the vast window." As with all of the classic Urizen hits, it can be found in the Audio/Video section. While you're there, you can check out another stocking stuffer that we will be stuffing in your hole. Of course I could only be talking about the Poo Shoe Studios radio promo. I tell you, we're in the wrong business... Anyway, I hope you have taken notice of that little red message at the top of the screen. The December 8th show will, in fact, take place at the Curtain Club and not Club Clearview. Why did we allow such a heinous error to exist? Just think of it as a reflection of our professionalism... as well as our love-making skills. To make up for it (I'm always compensating for something), I have posted a link at the bottom of the Live page to lead you to the Urizen Live Show archive, where you can look back on all the places we have defiled, and when we defiled them. So come see us defile the Curtain Club on the 8th (tomorrow) and again at Dreamworld on the 9th. Bring the toilet paper.

-Daniel: Makes Poo Come Out of the Bathtub

November 28, 2004
Hey! Something new for once! Well, I hope everyone had a pleasant Turkey Day (saying "Thanksgiving" would damage my street cred) and are gearing up for a lovely X-Mas (Yes!). But I hope you didn't gorge yourself too full of turkey, because boy do I have a feast for you! First on the agenda is the unveiling of the single largest collection of live pictures in the history of Urizen Online. This truly is ridiculous, but you can now gaze upon the overstuffed glory of the Red Blood Club pictures and be disgusted in knowing that what you are seeing is only a quarter of the pictures actually taken that night... I'll never forgive you for this, Bobby... On a more recent note, I have also posted the pictures from Friday's show at Dreamworld, as if you weren't already sick of looking at our ugly mugs. Speaking of Friday's show, I have, for the first time ever here at Urizen Online, posted live MPEG clips to disgust the masses. Those can be found here, in the now aptly-titled Audio/Video section. And as the mighty river flows into the sea, this somehow leads me to my next point, which is that I have added another show to the Live section. This one will take place at TomCats in Deep Ellum on January 22nd. Now I know that this is short notice, but I hope you'll all forgive me and try to make it anyway. And finally, it seems that Matt wasn't too crazy about the bio I so generously created for him a few weeks ago, so he took it upon himself to write up one of his own. Something tells me he was a little upset about a few of the comments I made... or maybe I'm just being paranoid... you be the judge when you check it out right here. I don't know about you, but this huge update makes me want to wretch... Time to purge, kiddies! Until next time, always remember to have your drummers spayed or neutered.

-Daniel: An Equal-Opportunity Destroyer

November 22, 2004
More Live Pics; More Live Shows; More of the Same Oh man... what a crazy show we had on Friday. Frankly, I don't know what to say, but you know what they say? They say, "A picture's worth a thousand words. Get off my lawn." With that being said, I offer to the Gods this sampling of Live Pictures from the Red Blood Club. Enjoy them, but don't get too full, because there are more pictures from that show coming soon. Now I know what you're thinking. After seeing those pictures of a half-naked Julio, you're all hot and bothered and want to experience Urizen in all it's fleshy glory, right? Well, my friends, your prayers have been answered, as you will have three chances to catch Urizen live in the coming weeks. First, we have a newly scheduled show at Dreamworld this coming Friday, November 26th, which should give you just enough time to gorge yourself with turkey, poop it out, and throw on something nice (you know, for the ladies) before the show. The next appearance will be on Wednesday, December 8th at Club Clearview in Deep Ellum, after which we will make the journey to Arlington once again for another show at Dreamworld on Thursday, December 9th. Two cities in two nights? That's practically a world tour! More specific information (such as door times, prices, etc.) for these shows can, and will always, be found on the Live page. So there you have it. I'm Kevin Nealon, and that's news to me.

-Daniel: Probably Isn't Really Kevin Nealon

November 16, 2004
More Homoerotic Robots Alright alright, cats and kitties, whether you've recovered from the last update or not does not matter to me, because I am in the mood! Now let's get to it while I'm still hard... Now, as you may have noticed, I have decided not to quit Urizen for the time being. I took the weekend to really think things through, and I realized that if I did, in fact, quit, my opportunities to verbally abuse Julio would most likely diminish greatly. Plus, now that Matt's here, I have an entirely new individual's life to ruin, so there you have it... Also, I had to stick around just long enough to unveil two brand new Flyers! These bad boys really represent the kind of quality you all have come to expect here at Urizen Online, so don't waste a second of time that could be spent enjoying them to the fullest. This brings me to my next point, which is to give some final details for the Red Blood Club show this Friday, November 19th. As I mentoined before, we will be going on at 11:30 (another headlining show? What the hell?) with doors opening at 8:30. Also playing that night will be Veach and Proof, and the cost of the show will be $5 for all you over 21 folk, and $8 for you lowly, non-alcohol-purchasing minors. This show is 17 and Up only, so leave your newborns at home... possibly with a babysitter, but who am I to tell you your business... One more thing before I go: While checking out those new Flyers, make sure to scroll down and take a look at the newly added "Dunwich Horror Flyers" section, it's a blast from the past, I tells ya! Those are all the offerings I have to... offer you, boils and ghouls. We'll see you all Friday at the Red Blood Club! Mention my name at the door and get in for $2 above the original price!

-Daniel: His Chest Hair Proves That He's A Man

November 12, 2004
XXX PICS! LIVE SEX SHOWS! Let's start off with a status report: Still no pictures from the MetalFest, and I doubt there ever will be. There were no pictures taken at last Thursday's show at Dreamworld. There were, however, pictures taken at Saturday's show at the Ridglea. Saturday show at Ridglea? Yes. Although I completely neglected to post anything about it here at Urizen Online, we had a show on Saturday, where we finally conquered the Ridglea's Main Stage, and damn did we have fun doing it. You can find pictures of that show here, courtesy once again of famed Uri-Photographer Bobby Gomez. So now that we have that whole mess sorted out, I also have these tidings of joy to bestow upon your festive crowns. First, we have two more shows scheduled. The first will take place next Friday, November 19th at the Red Blood Club in Deep Ellum. We're supposed to go on at 11:30 in the night time, and the cost may or may not be $5... you be the judge. The second show is set for Thursday, December 9th at Dreamworld. Just like last time, that bad boy will start at 8PM and cost $8. Next on our fantastic voyage is a new section in the Promotion page, where you can now download your very own Urizen wallpapers to adorn your computer desktops. Those can be found, coincidentally enough, right here in the Desktop section. Alright! We're rockin' now! In the Band section, you can now find information on your favorite lover and mine, Sir Matt Garrison! Also... Jeremy, where the hell are you!?! If you are reading this, please contact us and let us know what to do with all of your stuff that's in our garage. And that's it... That's all the time I'm willing to spend with this... And by this, I mean Urizen. I'm out. I quit.

-Daniel: His Name Doesn't Rhyme with "Box"

October 26, 2004
Audio! Live! Merch! More!!! Boy, do I have a hefty load to dump on everyone today. Prepare yourself... First things first, I wanted to start out by giving some "thank you's" that, in my great haste, I forgot to give last update. A big thanks goes out to Sam Damask for helping us out with the 2nd guitar duties for the Ridglea MetalFest, it really brought about a new level of anus demolishing. And again I would like to thank both Matt Garrison and Amber Beasley for their tremendous amount of help over the past few shows, we truly couldn't have done it without you. But I shall not forget you, oh faithful soldiers of Urizen. A big thanks goes out to everyone who has come to see us play over the past few months! This is only the beginning!! Now, let's get down to the business of all this babbling. First order of business: Another URIZEN live show will take place next Thursday, November 4th at the Dreamworld Music Complex in Arlington. Those of you familiar with specific Urizen history may remember that it was at Dreamworld that Thomas and I first met Julio on a trip from Colorado to see the mighty Dimmu Borgir. Ahhh... memorieeees... This venue is resposible for the birth of Urizen, so be sure to check this one out! Details can be found, as always, at the Live page. Number two: the universal synonym for pooping. Number three: The Merchandise page has, at long last, been updated. There you will find new T-shirts and stickers that are available at all live shows. Also available at live shows is the "autocrat ep." You're going to want to get your grubby little hands on this one, folks, as it is strictly limited to 30 units, and supplies are diminishing very quickly. Each one of these CDs was hand painted by Sir Thomas and myself, and are quite pleasing to the eye, if I do say so myself. You will also notice that there is a new picture adorning the entrance to Urizen Online, ripped straight from the loins of the "autocrat ep." Finally, I bring you to what I feel is the most exciting part of today's update... A NEW AUDIO CLIP!!! This is definately a historical moment, ladies and germs, as new audio clips have been presented on two consecutive updates for the first time ever... HOW ABSURD!!! This little gem is called "neon," the first section of a three-piece-epic, and you can rock out with your cock out to that one right here. Phew!! I'm spent! It's back to the cage for me, to accumulate a new load to spill forth next time. In the meantime, remember: we do have a guestbook... it's been over a month since someone commented on Julio's awesome bod. Come on, people, he's starting to feel overly self-conscious, show the man some love. Bunch of savages in this town...

-Daniel: He gets pee dribbles on his boxers too

October 18, 2004
New Audio Clip; Notebook Sketches; Other Pics Another show has come and gone, dear friends, and business resumes as usual here at Urizen Headquarters. I don't have any pictures from the Ridglea MetalFest show right now, but I have a feeling some will surface in the near future. What I do have, however, is a brand new audio file! Yes sir, we are proud to present "...it begins to rain" in it's full, ...well, almost full, glory. This isn't the full song, but it is a very sizeable chunk, so check it out in the Audio/Video section. Now, as you may notice when you get there, we have finally taken down the full mp3 of "(never felt so dreadful)" and replaced it with a short clip. The same holds true for "a shift in the weather..." However, if you visit the Urizen page at MySpace.com, you can stream the full versions of all 3 available Urizen songs (...it begins to rain will be up soon)!! OH GOD YES!!! But we're not done yet, hookers and Johns, because I have also blessed the site with some new Other Pictures for everyone to enjoy. And, as if you weren't bloated enough with updates, I am proud to present a fresh batch of the now legendary Notebook Sketches. Ah yes, the one thing we UriMen are actually good at... I'll be frank, I am holding out on you all. There is more news and there are more updates, but I've given you enough to gnaw on for one day. I'll be back soon with another exciting episode, right here at Urizen Online!!

-Daniel: Kevin Spacey is Kaiser Sose in The Usual Suspects, Bruce Willis is dead in The Sixth Sense and the girl from The Crying Game is really a man.

October 4, 2004
Mischeif, Robots, and Drunken Women Gather round, my little bundles of joy, and see what Uncle Daniel has brought for you today. It's... well, frankly it's just the same crap I gave you last time. Okay, I lied, it's even less than the crap I gave you last time, but don't blame me... Blame Julio. Yeah, that sounds good, blame Julio. Yes my friends, on this day of days I shoot forth from my loins a spankin' new set of steamy, creamy Live Pictures from Friday's show in Deep Ellum. As an added bonus, you can check out the end of the batch to sneak a peek at the bizzare drunk chick that poured herself onto the stage to bless us all with some tasteful, coordinated dance moves. You can also check out Julio's bodacious bod in two new pictures I posted from the end of August show. Also included in this month's update is a new flyer that will be used to promote the upcoming Ridglea MetalFest show, the details of which can be found here on our Live page. You might have also noticed that our slot has moved from 2:50 to 3:40... but I doubt you did. Also, Thomas and I have decided that from now on, we should refer to porno actors and actresses as "Pornos," and porno movies as "Pornographs." Just trying to keep you in the loop. Keep your nuts about you!

-Daniel: Business Is His Business, And Business Is Good

September 20, 2004
Pics, Tabs and Fly... ers... It's alriiiight, it's okaaayy... there's something to live forrrr.... Pictures mostly. That's what there is the most of. They, more specifically, are the pictures from the show last month at the Ridglea. You can look at those here. Then, if you reference the heading that I put up there... at the head... you will see that it also says "Tabs." This means that in the Discography section, you will now find the guitar tab for the smash Uri-Hit, "(never felt so dreadful)." There will eventually be tabs for all of the songs, so keep checking back in the future. Finally, as we follow along our header agenda, we see that there is a new flyer posted in the Flyers section. Isn't life great? But don't be fooled, males and females, because there is something that I didn't tell you about in the header! Ahhh... how fiendish! At long last, there has been a Random Thought added!! It doesn't get any better than that, so I suggest ending yourself after you finish reading it. On second thought, you might want to postpone that suicide for at least another month or so, otherwise you'll miss out on the upcoming Urizen live shows! That's right, there are two festivals coming up that feature appearances by your very own personal favorite Uri-Hunk. Who's yours? Is it Thomas, the sensitive man who, despite a busy schedule of toppling empires and snuffing planets, still finds time to cry? Or perhaps Julio is more your style, a man who makes love with the same care and tenderness that he applies to jamming logs into a wood chipper? Is it Daniel, the stud who's overwhelming amount of body hair takes attention away from the horrible, horrible smell? Well, whatever your preference may be, the entire UriCrew will be on hand October 1st at Club Indigo and October 16th at the Ridglea. We'll see you there!

-Daniel: He Doesn't Know Why Your Pee Is Slightly Red

September 16, 2004
Urizen Live Updates Well, it's been a while, children, but your ever-lovin' UriMan have returned to web-based splendor. And although it has been an exceptionally long time since the last show, I would still like to thank everyone who came out to support us, as well as the new fans that trickled into the super-spacious Ridglea Lounge to join in on the fun. We'll try to get some pictures from that show up soon. As for those of you that didn't go, not only did you miss out on a great show, but you missed your opportunity to be the proud owner of the very first Urizen T-Shirts ever printed! But don't fret, dear friends, for you have two more chances to catch Urizen live in October! The first opportunity is the previously mentioned 2004 North Texas New Music Festival. We will be playing at Club Indigo in Deep Ellum on October 1st. The showcases start at around 8 PM, but Urizen will be closing the event at 1:00 AM!! Also, Be sure to check out the festival website here to find out where to go to score FREE passes to the festival. Finally, an appropriate price for a Urizen show! You will also be able to buy passes on the days of the festival for $10. Opportunity number two comes at the Ridglea Metal Fest! This show is going to completely kick ass. There are almost 40 bands on 3 stages, and the music starts at noon and doesn't stop until like 2 in the morning! OH HOLY SHIT!! This festival is made up of the premier metal acts in the Southwest United States, and features bands such as Jacknife, The Guns of August, (in theory), Demonseed, Kwik Buddha, and many, many more!! So mark your calenders for Saturday, October 16th! And while your at it, visit Front Gate Tickets to buy tickets in advance. I strongly recommend it, as you will otherwise have to deal with an ungodly line at the door. Finally, in case you couldn't filter the important details out of my stream of babble, you can now visit the new Live page here at Urizen Online, to keep you informed on any and all upcoming shows. That's all for now, citizens. As for me... it's back to my update hibernation.

-Daniel: Part of His Name Backwards is "Nad"

August 24, 2004
Urizen Newsletter; New Flyers; New Music Festival Ahhh... It feels quite good to get back to my usual, non-updating ways. But as nice as it is to ignore my Web-Overlord duties, there is business to attend to, dammit! First on the agenda, we have taken the liberty to set up an Official Urizen Online Newsletter! Now this, in case you weren't sure, is some good news for you fellows and fell... ettes out there, because by joining our Mailing List, you can get all sorts of news and updates delivered right to your online mailbox, including content that won't be found anywhere else!!! That's amazing! Just click on that Newsletter link in the bottom right corner over there and you're in business! I should just stop there, you know. After not updating for almost two weeks, I really should't give you any more than that. But you and I both know that I'm going to anyway, right? So here we go... Issue #2: In the Promotion section, you will find two new flyers for the upcoming Urizen show, Friday, August 27th at the Ridglea Theater. As always, I hope to see you all there. In case I failed to mention before, our set starts at 11 in the Lounge, and we'll be playing a full set this time, so be prepared. On a similar note, we have just recieved notice that Urizen will be participating in the 2004 North Texas New Music Festival! We don't have much information about this show at the moment, but the festival takes place September 30th through October 2nd. Check out the festival website for information, and keep checking back here for the most up to date information on the subject. Better yet, join the Mailing List and be the first to know! It's incredible!! That's it for now, kiddies! See you on Friday at the Ridglea!

-Daniel: Oh God, I Can See His Colon!

August 12, 2004
More LIVE Pictures; "Fastest Feet in Dallas" See? I'm a pretty upright and reliable kind of guy, right? Just as promised, I have posted more Live Pictures, courtesy of UriSoldier Bobby Gomez. They're all mixed up with the last batch of pics, so enjoy figuring out which ones are new! Wheee!!! Now, more importantly, we here at Urizen are proud to announce that Julio "Dioz" Escamilla officially owns the "Fastest Feet In Dallas." On August 5th, at the OzzFest show at the Smirnoff Music Center, Julio set the Dallas record at the Fastest Feet contest with 435 kicks in 30 seconds. "I'll beat it next year," says Escamilla. "And I'll be there, and I'll beat him," says Thomas Drinnen, also of Urizen fame. Daniel Drinnen could not be reached for comment. Be sure to come see those famous feet on Friday, August 27th at the Ridglea Theater. Speaking of the Ridglea, they recently has this to say about Urizen on their website: Unlike Anything else I have heard, These Guys played last month and totally blew me away! While they are really more suited for the MAIN STAGE (Noise Levels) I was selfish and put them back in the lounge so I can hear the whole set!!...he he!.... We appreciate the kind words, and can't wait to return on Friday, August 27th, and we hope to see you all there too. I'll be back soon with more details (assuming of course that there are and more details) on that show, as well as a new flyer design or two. Until then, check out those Notebook Sketches again. Now 25% more obscene!!

-Daniel: A 'D' in the 'A' is Worth Two in the Bush

July 30, 2004
Notebook Sketches; Urizen MP3 Sites Whoa!!! Notebook Sketches!!! No, it's not just a crazy dream, the Notebook Sketches have finally made their triumphant return to UrizenOnline.com! Go check those bad boys out right now. But wait!! There's more!! Urizen now has pages on both MySpace.com and AudioStreet.net! Okay, okay... so we already have UrizenOnline.com, so why the hell do we need these music hosting websites? Two reasons; the first being exposure. These sites could help us reach people that we would normally not be reaching. But why do you care about this, oh faithful and appriciated web visitor? Well, because these sites stream the audio, we will be able to put up full versions of Urizen songs that we would normally not offer here for fear of them being improperly copied and distributed. So, with these sites, you will be given a much broader access to new Urizen songs! OH GOOD LORD!!! THAT'S INCREDIBLE!!! The links for those pages are available in the Audio/Video section for future reference, so give them a visit and rack up those numbers in the name of the UriNation!! But don't let my frighteningly-frequent update kep you from enjoying those Live Pictures that we posted. And remember to check us out at the Ridglea on Friday, August 27th! We'll see you there!!

-Daniel: Now a Major Motion Picture!

July 28, 2004
New LIVE Pictures Greetings once again from deep within the stinking catacombs of UriCentral! This week I have brought for your approval a fresh batch of Live Pictures. Now these are all well and good, but I'm sure you're saying to yourself, "You know, these are all well and good, but surely they don't compare to a real live Urizen show!" The dirty truth, kiddies, is that these pictures truly do not measure up to Urizen in the flesh, by which I mean live, not nude (*Note: Nude Urizen pictures available on request). My point, if there is one amidst this half-baked, meaningless babble, is that if you missed the show, then come see us Friday, August 27th at the Ridglea. I'll be back soon with more details on that show. Until then, remember: your dog may seem like a cheap, easy lay, but is it worth all the controversy?

-Daniel: A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing and Ass-less Chaps

July 21, 2004
URIZEN live news; correction All of us here at Urizen Headquarters would like to thank everyone who came out to support us last Saturday! We all had a blast at the show, and we hope that all of you that attended did as well. We would also like to send out an extra special thanks to Matt Garrison for helping us out by fulfilling the live bass duties. Special thanks also go out to our "roadies," Ty and Ian, Amber and everyone who helped with promotion, everyone at the Ridglea, and, once again, all of you who came to see the show!! We have another show at the Ridglea coming up Friday, August 27th, so check back for more info on that. Also, we will be posting pictures from the show very soon. There were a fair amount of pictures taken by many different people, so we just need to get our affairs in order... Or maybe I'm just too damn lazy to upload all of these pictures onto the website right now. I mean, who really wants to see pictures of a shirtless, sweaty Julio anyway? And speaking of the famed Dioz, it seems that there is a correction I need to make. As it turns out, Julio was actually born in 1983, not 1933 as stated in the previous post... And boy is my face red. I apologize for any tragic events that may have occured as a result of that mistake...

-Daniel: Void in Utah

July 15, 2004
Julio turns 71! The hallowed halls of UriCentral are abuzz with celebration for on this day, the famed Dioz of Urizen was violently birthed into the world! Now I'll be the first to admit that I was a bit surprised to learn that Julio had already reached the frail old age of 71, but the numbers don't lie, folks. So as you go about your day-to-day activities, take a second or two to reflect on the laughter and tears that Julio has brought to all of our lives. Also, send him money. Checks should be made out to "Daniel Drinnen"... that's the alias that he uses... at the bank. But to truly put a smile on the birthday boy's face, come see him (as well as us other chaps) this Saturday, July 17th, at the Ridglea Theatre. Check the last update for directions and other details. Surely you didn't expect me to write it all out again, did you? Have you seen all the news I've been posting lately? After this show is over, I'm taking a vacation. During that time, Urizen Online will be broadcasting reruns of Full House.

-Daniel. The Car. Daniel. The Car. Daniel. Daniel. ...The Car

July 14, 2004
More show info Just a few things to add to the info for the upcoming URIZEN LIVE show (July 17th at the Ridglea Theatre, 6025 Camp Bowie Blvd., Ft. Worth, TX). First of all, and I have been meaning to post this for a little while now, for those of you attending the show (on July 17th at the Ridglea Theatre, 6025 Camp Bowie Blvd., Ft. Worth, TX), when you pay to get in, make sure you specify that you are there to see URIZEN in The Lounge, so that we will have a better chance of playing shows there in the future. It's just important to the venue that they know which bands are bringing in which parts of the audience. The second purpose of this post is to give those of you who may not know a better idea of where the Ridglea is exactly. Below are the directions provided on the Ridglea Theater website: The Ridglea Theater is located about 6 miles West of Downtown Fort Worth: Take I-30 West & exit US-377 SOUTH/CAMP BOWIE BLVD ( exit 9B ) Follow CAMP BOWIE BLVD around left The theater is on the left hand side immediately after the second light at Bryant Irvin Rd. Also, here is a map that was also provided by the Ridglea website, to further help you on your great pilgrimage to the URIZEN LIVE show (July 17th at the Ridglea Theatre, 6025 Camp Bowie Blvd., Ft. Worth, TX). So that's about it for now, kiddies. We hope to see you all this Saturday, helping us further the ongoing conquest of the UriNation!

-"Daniel?" he asked, expecting the answer 'no'

July 9, 2004
Show update; Promotion page added There has been a slight change in plans for the show on the 17th. We have been informed that we will be going on at 10:30/11PM, not at 9, as previously stated. Other than that, everything remains the same. The other reason for this rare two-updates-in-the-span-of-two-weeks moment is that we have added a Promotion page, to house flyers and other promotional-type material. To break ground in this brave new land, we have decided to share with you the flyers to be used for the upcoming Urizen show (July 17th at the Ridglea Theatre, 6025 Camp Bowie Blvd., Ft. Worth, TX). This set contains five flyers composed by us (read: me) right here at Urizen Headquarters, as well as three composed by our (read: my) ever-faithful UriSlave, the lovely Amber Beasley. So kick back and enjoy this new piece of Urizen Online. Also, feel free to print those bad boys out and plaster them all over your local hospitals and police stations. And don't forget to join us on July 17th at the Ridglea Theatre, 6025 Camp Bowie Blvd., in Ft. Worth, TX. Until next time (Weeks? Months? Years?), keep your unit on you.

-Daniel+Pancake+Monkey... How Will It End?

June 30, 2004
URIZEN LIVE I'm sure this is coming as a shock to those of you familiar with this website, for on this day, I have actually made a promise and delivered it within a few weeks. That's right, boils and ghouls, Urizen will be playing live at the Ridglea Theatre in Ft. Worth (6025 Camp Bowie Blvd.) on July 17th. The show starts at 8, and you can expect us UriMen to storm the stage around 9 or 9:30. The show is all ages, so load up that diaper bag and throw Granny's wheelchair into the van... the diapers being for the babies that you presumably have, not your Granny... although if she does, in fact, require diapers, I suggest you pack those too. If any new information surfaces, or if there are any changes regarding the afformentioned information, you'll find it here first, at Urizen Online: One Band's Website that has Surprisingly Little to do with Music.

-Daniel: A New Breed of Milkman

June 19, 2004
Lots of text; very little pertinent information Well, well, well... look who it is. For any of you out there who may still be checking this website for updates, I apologize. Did I promise you more regular updates? Yes. Have I promised you many things in the past? Yes I have. Do I keep these promises? Well... it's pretty obvious that I don't. But I figure I at least owe you an explanation. Things have been pretty busy here at Urizen Headquarters, mainly because of the ongoing quest to finish Autocratopolis, the debut Urizen LP. I admit, it has been taking a while, but you know what they say. Right? They say, "Woman, do you want it done now or do you want it done right!?!" That's my philosophy, anyway. But I have just consulted with Sir Thomas and Julio the Brave, and can assure you a brand new audio clip coming very soon. So be patient, my pets. So, as a peace offering, please enjoy this, Luv Is..., Thomas' satire of a certain comic strip about two naked eight-year-olds who are married. It will be in the Notebook Sketches if you care to reference it in the future. Why with the Notebook Sketches? Well where would you put it, smart guy? Sign the Guestbook and give me a better location, and you might win a prize. Or you might not win a prize. Christ, I don't know. Be on the lookout for upcoming Urizen shows at the Ridglea Theater in Ft. Worth. It's more entertaining than making sweet, sweet love to your special lady friend!!

-Daniel: He's Two Cereals In One!

April 22, 2004
Sweet Jesus! An update! Sweet Jesus! New audio clip!! You better believe it, boils and ghouls! The UriMen have finally come out of the woodwork, bringing with us a slew of wonderous goodies! First and foremost, I am damn pleased to finally make good on my promise to bring you new audio clips, for today, it has been done. And to make up for my constant, blatant stream of lies over the past few months, we are posting the entire fourth track of the debut Urizen LP, Autocratopolis, for a limited time only. You can check that bad boy out right here. But wait! That's not all!! To coincide with the arrival of new music, we have posted lyrics for the first four songs from Autocratopolis, which can be accessed through the Discography page. Okay, I know what you're saying now. You're saying, "Okay, Daniel, I am satisfied now, and I desire nothing more of you." Well, while that is kind of you to say, I simply must give you more. To add to your joy and excitement, we have decided to share with you the "Ultimate Chess Armageddon!!" radio spot, which can also be accessed here in the Audio/Video section. So that's it, right? I'm afraid not. I haven't updated in about 4 months now, right? So you may be asking yourself "What the hell has been going on over there?" The answer, my friends, is Notebook Sketches! Yes, once again the Notebook Sketches section grows with a fury as of yet unseen in this world. So that's it for the updates, but there is one more matter that must be discussed at this time. With the final coming of an honest-to-God song sample, we are "officially" launching Urizen Online into the Internet world. So what the hell does this mean? Basically, it just means that we are going to be promoting the website much more heavily than we have been. So in essence, the website's existance thus far has been more or less a test run, and is now "officially" online. I'm sure you can feel the difference already, right? For those of you just joining us here at Urizen Online, welcome! Sign the Guestbook! And for those of you that have been undying in your loyalty to Urizen and it's cause... well, also sign the Guestbook, I suppose. See you in a few months!

-Daniel: One Man. Three testicles. A Lifetime of Memories.

January 29, 2004
New Year; Loads of UriStuff! Well, we're finally updating the site... I swear, it's becoming more and more of a monthly thing. But I promise, on my sacred name, to update more frequently... yes... just like I promised more music samples... hmmm... That's right, I am sad to report that the new year has not yet yielded new audio clips, but they are close. So very close. Until the glorious day that they do arrive, you can enjoy a big, random mess of stuff! First, we have some new pictures in the Other Pictures section for all to enjoy. Next, we have the triumphant return of Notebook Sketches! Finally, Urizen Online brings you a brand new addition to the Miscellaneous section: The Great UriChallenge! This new addition lets us challenge you, our loyal visitors, to interesting... well, challenges, I suppose. So enjoy that which I have bestowed, and be on the lookout for more audio samples in the future.

-Daniel: I Hardly Knew Me